Monthly Archives: April 2013

The Best Housecleaning Advice, Ever!

I can’t believe it. I’ve done all my housework, and it’s only 9:30. Well, better go upstairs and make sure the beds are still made. – Marge Simpson Our house gets messy when there’s a project on. Temporarily relocated furniture … Continue reading

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Bedroom: Minty Fresh?

Lisa: Mmmm, smells like mint! Homer: Oh, I spit my gum in there. – The Simpsons We are now working on the bedroom walls and ceiling, touching up the plaster and woodwork. I’ve also finished staining and sealing the storage … Continue reading

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Surrendering to Rampant Consumerism (and Finding it Pleasant)

Marge, weren’t you listening? This is a miracle breakthrough! Not one of these cheapo sucker deals! – Homer Simpson I’m sure I’ve mentioned that I am cheap careful with a dollar (or pound). Generally, I am very skeptical of designs on … Continue reading

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Marble Countertops: The Post-Acid Test

Ned: How can we sabotage his labor of love? Homer: I dunno. Gasoline, acid, I got some stuff in the trunk. – The Simpsons One of our goals for 2013 is new countertops in the kitchen. We have laminate that we … Continue reading

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The Right Red: Matching Vintage Woodwork

Hello, Vegas?  Give me 100 bucks on red . . .  D’oh!  All right, I’ll send you a check. – Homer Simpson There are two ingredients needed to match existing trim in an old house: gel stain and patience. Unless the … Continue reading

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Before and After: Cat-Approved Bathroom

Ms. Hoover: What was Christopher Columbus actually looking for when he discovered America?  Ralph: [hand up] Ooh! Ah! Ms. Hoover: Ralph, this better not be about your cat. Ralph: [hand down] Oh. – The Simpsons We are making some sloooow … Continue reading

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How Does Your Garden Grow? It Doesn’t

Bart: Now is the winter of our discontent. Ralph: Oh, no! Run! – The Simpsons I keep returning to this wonderful article by botanist Phil Gates for the BBC as I wait for spring. And wait. And WAIT. Stupid tundra! … Continue reading

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Bedroom Remodel: Settling in for the Medium to Long Haul

Bart: Are we there yet? Homer: No. Bart: Are we ever gonna be there? Homer: How would I know? – The Simpsons The Kev and I have both had a week and a half already, but we’ve managed to make … Continue reading

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What We Have Here is Not a Failure to Communicate

Homer: Wow, Marge, you really do understand me.  See, I thought we weren’t soulmates because… Marge: …we had a fight? Homer: Right, and we don’t like the same things.  It’s like you’re from Venus… Marge: …and you’re from Mars. Homer: Oh, sure, … Continue reading

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No! My sugar is melting. Melting! Oh, what a world. – Homer Simpson Spring is here! Sort of! It’s been a long time coming, but finally there are fewer treacherous sheets of ice hither and yon. But I’m missing one sheet of … Continue reading

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