Category Archives: Porch

A Tisket, a Tasket, a Hack Involving a Basket

Homer: [in a posh voice] Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me. Postal Clerk: Ok, Mr. Burns. What’s your first name? Homer: I don’t know. – The Simpsons I have two posts kicking around, one about … Continue reading

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Draft Dodging

Arrrriairar!! – Eleanor Abernathy (Crazy Cat Lady) With the threat of polar vortices hanging over our head, it is extremely important that we take all possible measures to protect ourselves. We decided that one of those measures would be to … Continue reading

Posted in American vs English, D'oh!, Energy, Porch, Repair & Maintenance, Windows & Doors | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Installing a Wooden Storm Door: The We-Love-The-Former-Owners Edition

In case you can’t tell, I’m being sarcastic! – Homer Simpson Earlier this year, we bought a new storm door and prepped it for hanging. The Kev painted the door while I was gallivanting with ghosts in San Francisco. We … Continue reading

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I Think We Have a Winner!

Of course, there’s no way to see into the Simpson home without some kind of infrared heat-sensitive camera. So let’s turn it on! – Kent Brockman OK, so it’s been over a month since we last worked on the porch … Continue reading

Posted in Porch, Salvage, Walls & Floors | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Installing a Wooden Porch Door: The Sawing and Chiseling Edition

Ned: You’re using my table saw to violate a court order? Homer: Well, we tried all those other tools. – The Simpsons We’re putting a new porch door on the front of the house. Stacey mentioned this when she was … Continue reading

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When Life Closes a Door, Go Shopping for Door Knobs

I wish they taught shopping in school! – Malibu Stacy A while back, I purchased some vintage door knobs for the porch door project (a/k/a Porch Fest 2013). And I was happy about it! Ignorance was bliss — once I started … Continue reading

Posted in D'oh!, Porch, Repair & Maintenance, Salvage, Windows & Doors | Tagged , , , , | 4 Comments

Porch Fest 2013: Door > Floor

Helloooo? I’m cold and there are wolves after me. – Abe Simpson Given our unexpectedly lengthy search for a way to strip the porch floor AND the suddenly-very-impending winter, the Kev and I agreed that replacing the porch door was our … Continue reading

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Stripping on the Front Porch: The Continuing Saga

We are still trying to strip the porch floor. Last time, we detailed a bunch of paint stripping products and techniques, none of which had really worked against the original layer. After that long line of failures and some research, … Continue reading

Posted in D'oh!, Porch, Salvage, Walls & Floors | Tagged , , | 9 Comments

Relaxing on the Front Porch: We’re Doing it Wrong

Lisa: I’ll do whatever it takes. Bart: Then welcome to the nether regions of the soul. -The Simpsons The green paint on our porch floor is flaking off. Something has to be done! We really want to go for the … Continue reading

Posted in Before & After, D'oh!, Porch, Salvage, Walls & Floors | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments

The Long and Winding Road That Leads to a Door

Oh, no! This will take forever! – Lisa Simpson Stacey is a star at finding great deals on Craigslist. Last summer, she found a screen door for $15. It was supposed to replace the porch door; now it lives in … Continue reading

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