Author Archives: Stacey

Postcards to the Future

Lisa: Lincoln didn’t hide any gold in the White House. Homer: Then what is his ghost protecting? – The Simpsons When I was a kid, a friend’s parents added an extension to their house. Inside an open wall, her dad … Continue reading

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Chez Cattywampus

Even your dreams are square! – Bart Simpson That should be only our dreams are square, or at least only the dreams about this house. I’m convinced that from the moment of completion, houses just want to return to the … Continue reading

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Holy Nesting Site, Batman!

Lisa: When the momma bird returns to feed her babies, we’ll have a prize-winning picture. Bart:  Lisa, people these days don’t want to see a baby bird; they want to see celebrities at their worst. – The Simpsons Last year, a … Continue reading

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Bedroom Paint: We Have A Winner!

Mmmm … Soylent Green … – Homer Simpson After considering the FIVE paint samples on the wall for a couple of days, we picked Benjamin Moore’s Hollingsworth Green (HC-141). I painted a thin coat all around the door to confirm … Continue reading

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It Isn’t Easy: Choosing Green Paint

Oh, figs. – Lisa Simpson I finished sanding and priming the walls in the bedroom, and was looking forward to slapping a few paint samples on the wall. I’d followed my usual paint selection techniques, and I had three test … Continue reading

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Don’t Lick This Spatula: Touching Up Plaster Walls

Marge: Homer! You didn’t do a very good job frosting Maggie’s birthday cake. Homer: What? It’s not Magaggie’s birthday? – The Simpsons One of the great perversities of home improvement is that when paint is applied to woodwork, it tends to obscure details, … Continue reading

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Bedroom Project: Slow, Not So Steady

For dangerously underweight individuals like yourself, I recommend a slow, steady gorging process combined with assal horizontology. – Doctor Nick Hey, remember the bedroom project? Remember? Good times! Good times that are still underway, as it turns out. But work is … Continue reading

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Composting Made Easy (Because It Is)

Lisa: I started an organic compost pile at home. Jesse: Only at home? You mean you don’t pocket-mulch? Lisa: Oh, it’s so decomposed! – The Simpsons Occasionally, I do community education sessions on gardening topics. My favorite subject is composting. … Continue reading

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The Best Housecleaning Advice, Ever!

I can’t believe it. I’ve done all my housework, and it’s only 9:30. Well, better go upstairs and make sure the beds are still made. – Marge Simpson Our house gets messy when there’s a project on. Temporarily relocated furniture … Continue reading

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Bedroom: Minty Fresh?

Lisa: Mmmm, smells like mint! Homer: Oh, I spit my gum in there. – The Simpsons We are now working on the bedroom walls and ceiling, touching up the plaster and woodwork. I’ve also finished staining and sealing the storage … Continue reading

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