Category Archives: American vs English

Draft Dodging

Arrrriairar!! – Eleanor Abernathy (Crazy Cat Lady) With the threat of polar vortices hanging over our head, it is extremely important that we take all possible measures to protect ourselves. We decided that one of those measures would be to … Continue reading

Posted in American vs English, D'oh!, Energy, Porch, Repair & Maintenance, Windows & Doors | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

This Old Couch: Frame Repair

Learn Carpentry with the Beatles! – Book in Ned Flanders’ library After deciding that our couch was worth recovering, the first thing on the couch agenda was fixing the cracked frame member. (Assuming you have a wood-framed sofa, this can … Continue reading

Posted in American vs English, Furniture, Repair & Maintenance | Tagged , , , , | 5 Comments

Contractors: The Profession That Time Forgot

Carl: Didn’t you get the email? Homer: What’s an email? Lenny: It’s a computer thing, like an electric letter… Carl: …or a quiet phone call. – The Simpsons We are trying to get a few bids on our possible loft … Continue reading

Posted in American vs English, Construction, D'oh! | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Advice to a Novice Canner

 Ok, roll film…tip the acid vats…aaaaand action! – Director of Fallout Boy I recently canned beets (UK: beetroot), a job that wins first prize in the category “Incredibly Messy Kitchen Event.” The kitchen ends up looking like a scene from … Continue reading

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Film Festival

I’m a little chilly. Can I have another strait jacket? – Ned Flanders One of my favorite tropes on the TV program Buffy the Vampire Slayer was that right after Spike (an unslayed vampire) made some big, dramatic statement, he’d often … Continue reading

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Happy Thanksgiving: Velma’s Pecan Pie

This is Thanksgiving, so glue friendly or I’ll take your glue away and then no one will have any glue to glue with. – Homer Simpson Thanksgiving in my family means pecan pie — pronounced peh-CAHN, as nature intended. A … Continue reading

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The Deal on the Gloss: Painting a Wooden Storm Door

This is the peak hour for stoned teenagers buying shiny things! – Apu When we found our new storm door, I started looking for the right paint. I knew the color we were using, but I wanted to find a … Continue reading

Posted in American vs English, Decor, Windows & Doors | Tagged , , , , | 7 Comments

Revisionist Histories: Staining a Fiberglass Door, Part 2

Last time, I explained how to prep an unfinished woodgrain fiberglass door for staining. This time, we’ll stain and seal the fake wood to give you an entrance that looks like the Real Door it wants to be. There are … Continue reading

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Revisionist Histories: Staining a Fiberglass Door, Part 1

I don’t want any part of this project. It’s unconscionably fiendish. – Waylon Smithers When we bought the house, it had a wholly inappropriate mid-century front door. That’s a cool MCM door, no? Yes! But perhaps not so much on … Continue reading

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Third Time’s the Crunchy Charm

Look at that comic book fellow, calmly eating candy like a Spaniard! – Mr. Burns We celebrated Bonfire Night chez D’oh tonight. The Kev prefers to call it Bonfire Night rather than Guy Fawkes because, thing one, that’s what his family calls it, … Continue reading

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