This is Permanent (As Far As We’re Concerned)

Homer: Don’t worry, honey, I found us a roofer last night, and you’ll never guess where!
Marge: Knockers on Route 98.
Homer: How did you know!?
Marge: I’m psychic.

Our friend Terry re-roofed his own house with long-lasting cedar shakes. Soon after, he came home and found his father-in-law spraying the roof (and adjacent windows and cars) with sealant. When Terry asked what (the hell) he was doing, he said, “This will make that roof last 50 years!” Terry responded, “What do I care? I don’t have 50 years!”

Cedar shake roof (via)

He never did get all the sealant off the windows.

2015 is the year we re-roof, and since even asphalt (or fiberglass or whatever-not-cedar) roofs are guaranteed for 30 years now, we need to pick something we can happily live with for the duration. I’m optimistic that we have more than 30 years to go, but in this house? Who knows.

Our roofer-elect uses GAF shingles, and will bring us samples to consider, but since the internet exists, it’s worth narrowing the choices in the meantime.

There are some givens for the equation. First, our house is white, and is likely to continue being white.

The conundrum, such as it is, is that the experts recommend gray or black roofs for white houses. The current roof is gray, but in the meantime, we’ve added a garden wall that is decidedly in the warm end of the spectrum.

Wow, look at the greenery — I am so ready for spring.

When you’re talking houses, should the collar match the cuffs? I don’t particularly like our current grey roof, but that’s partly because it’s all beat up. I’m interested in trying a warmer tone, but I would prefer to avoid that generic flat-brown color that was the default around town during the 1980s.

This seemed to be on all the houses when I was a kid (via).

With all that in mind, here are some of the GAF options that might work (all images are GAF’s):

GAF’s Timberline HD Weathered Wood

Sort of gray, sort of brown.

And on a house. It’s not a warm tone, despite being in the brown category.

GAF’s Timberline HD Barkwood

Sort of dark brown.

And on a house. That roof is actually made of chocolate. Too dark for us, I think.

GAF’s Timberline Natural Shadow Shakewood

Sort of tan.

I don’t think this is a real house.

Or! Or…there’s the mix of all colours that requires no single choice to actually be made.

GAF’s American Harvest in Golden Harvest

What (neutral) color ISN’T it?

I suspect GAF might have developed this option especially for all the indecisive customers. Theoretically, a mix of colors should end up looking more organic. Maybe? Or might the overall effect just look either (a) completely twee or (b) like a 8-bit video game screen?

There are other color blends, but “Golden Harvest” is the one that most appeals to me. The color, anyway, if not the ridiculous name.

Here’s what it looks like on a house.

Some other GAF American Harvest options. With Golden Harvest, these are the colors for houses in the north; elsewhere, the choices will vary (for some reason).

Maybe I’ve gone off the wrong direction and should be sticking with gray? Maybe I should ask the Kev’s opinion. And yours — what do you think?