I am disgusted with the way old people are depicted on television. We are not all vibrant, fun-loving sex maniacs. Many of us are bitter, resentful individuals, who remember the good old days when entertainment was bland and inoffensive.
– Grandpa Simpson
On return from our Canadian vacation, I was all emotional bliss and post-nasal drip. Odd combination, especially when greeted with several high-level meetings requiring me to wear shoes and everything! A week on, including a working weekend just past, and I’m still dealing with the dregs of this cold, the house is still in project mode, and I’m just a tiny bit peevish.
So as long as I’m peevish anyway, how about my top three DIY pet peeves?? (I’m going for most uses of “peevish” in a blog post EVER. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Google!)
1. My Least Favorite Phrase on the Internet
“My husband installed it” and variations thereon. Typically found in product reviews, this phrase puts my undies in a bunch pretty much every time. I do a lot of product research while we’re planning a project, and I find reviews about installation and actual use pretty helpful. But if the review is not by the person who did the DIY part of it, then I’m not getting the whole story!
Also, lady reviewers — you can totally put up that shelf yourself! (Ha, that rhymed. Cold medicine is a wonderful thing.) I encourage you to give it a try. It’s very rewarding to gain and apply DIY skills in your own home. Up to the point of peevishness, obviously.
2. The Decorification of Home Improvement Warehouses
Once upon a time, I was at a B&Q in Wimbledon (yes, that Wimbledon) and I asked someone if they had any self-tapping wood screws. “I’ll just…check,” he said, and wandered off, never to return! That particular location was given over largely to wallpaper, roller shades and laminate flooring. I later did 20 peevish minutes on “how can B&Q pretend to be a DIY place when it’s just all interior decor stuff?” to the long-suffering Kev.
I love interior design and decorating, but sometimes you need some weird circuit breaker that used to be in the aisle that is now all about rugs! It’s not just British DIY warehouses — it seems like Menards loses DIY floor space monthly, and the trend continues at Home Depot and Lowe’s. Menards now has a GROCERY section. (Which is deucedly convenient, but still!)
3. The Limitations of the Space-Time Continuum
How come there are always just the 24 hours in a day? Why can’t my car accommodate a 10-foot piece of lumber this one time? How can they possibly mean that primer takes four hours to dry? Why won’t this spraypaint stay in its area rather than getting all over everything? And why is this dust mask binding up under my eyeballs anyway?!?
I never said it was going to be a rational or measured post. Hope your days are going better. Peevish out!
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